that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
