lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
