Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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