I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
