Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
