Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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