OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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