I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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