Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
