her facebook's as public as her vagina
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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