I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
