Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
