nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
