I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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