Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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