this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
