I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
