I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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