I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
