Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
