porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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