his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
