i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
