But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
