11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
