If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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