At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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