Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
