There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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