Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
