Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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