How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
