My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
