We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
