I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
