I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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