have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
