Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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