I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I had to cum in my sink.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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