what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
