I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
