I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
