Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
