I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
