i jhust puked up my retainher.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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