did you get engaged???
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
