Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
