Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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