So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
