i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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