yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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