Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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