I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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