Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
