me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
