So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
